Unsupportive People From Their Point of View
Ever meet someone who simply isn’t supportive? Or even worse….they’re downright negative and try to thwart your efforts at every turn?
So what’s going on with them? Are they out to get you? Do they have a personal vendetta against your success?
Or could it be that they really are supportive and you just can’t see it?
Everyone sees the world through their own lens. So when your lens differs from theirs, especially if it’s on the opposite end of the spectrum, it makes sense that the advice they give you will be very different from what you want to hear.
Once you realize this you’re in a much better position to handle their support – or lack of support – differently. Instead of taking it as a personal attack, you can look at it more objectively. Understand that they are speaking from their experience and what they believe to be true.
And also understand that even if they seem generally unsupportive, there could just be a few nuggets of truth underneath that cloud of negativity. So take all points under consideration and thank them for their input. Then take the best of what they offer and integrate it as sound advice, letting the rest go.
Finally, don’t waste your time and energy trying to convince anyone that your way is better. Allow them to be who they are (just as you are who you are), take the support they offer and find better support elsewhere. Do this and you will find your relationships with those unsupportive people start to improve – and as a bonus once the pressure is off they may actually become more supportive than they were previously.
4 comments
Permalink1
In my experience it is also true that when we hear negativity around us it is often a reflection of our own self-doubts. I am on the road to recovering from being a very fearful person and I used to often mis-interpret the things that were being said to me as being negative and sometimes even cruel because I was looking to hear those things.
It’s just another piece to the puzzle that is the law of attraction :)
Permalink2
Very good point Rebecca! When you are in a place of fear and negativity even the most positive message can be mistaken for an attack. Thanks for reminding me of that :)
Permalink3
Have you read or explored the book A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen? The book talks a lot about stopping negative thinking (though it doesn’t discuss its replacement in detail) by ceasing complaining behavior. I found it interesting but struggle to apply the principles of the book.
Permalink4
Thanks I’ll check it out. Sounds interesting.
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