When you make chili you start with a recipe.  Then you tweak it with your own “secret ingredients,” do the prep work and put the chili on.  Then you wait.  And wait.  And wait.  Because everyone knows that really outstanding chili can’t be made in short order.  No….the flavors need time to meld together and create a masterpiece.

Manifesting is much the same way.  You start with a recipe, which is the manifesting process.  You decide what you want to manifest, tweaking your desire until it’s exactly as you want it.  Then you put your order in and you wait.  And a bit later presto – Masterpiece of Manifestation is created!

The thing about manifesting is that we often forget that waiting thing.  We want it and we want it now!  But in our linear reality, it often takes time for the manifestation to simmer to perfection.  In manifesting as with chili, it may seem like nothing is happening for a while.  But behind the scenes the Universe is working hard to combine the perfect blend of flavors, textures and aromas to deliver to you the most amazingly perfect manifestation ever!  So keep your eyes off that pot and leave the lid on until it’s finished.  You’ll be glad you did!

And yet so often I want what I want so badly it’s easy to try and tweak things a little here or give a little push there because of course I *know* what I’m doing (hehe).

And invariably what happens is I manage to muck up the works.  And sometimes I succeed in bringing things to a dead stop!

So anyway… I thought it might be helpful to share some of the ways I get myself turned around so I can once again go with the flow instead of trying to swim upstream.

• First, if it feels hard, yucky, etc. and you find yourself making excuses to not do it, complaining, or doing it badly then it’s time to take a break.  It is definitely NOT a good action moment.  Go clear your head, divert your attention, do something to get your mind completely off things.  I promise when you go back later you’ll get more done and in less time than you thought possible.
• Second, restate your intent to have things flow easily.  Yeah the Universe heard your request the first time and its busy lining things up but perhaps YOU need a reminder (I know I do).  So restate your intent firmly and with purpose, fully expecting that it be carried out.
• Third, stop backing yourself into corners.  Many times when I’m trying to take control it’s because I have forgotten that the Universe can deliver in infinite ways.  When I needed a new TV once I got it in my head that the only place I could get one was this particular store.  So I was checking each week for sales and getting frustrated that what I wanted wasn’t yet in my price range.  One day when I was complaining to a friend, he reminded me that he’d offered me an extra TV of theirs weeks ago.  All I had to do was come get it.  Duh…I was too set on my own “how” to see what was right in front of my eyes.
• Finally… sometimes you have to just give up.  That’s right.  Give up, tell the Universe you’re done and walk away.  Very often this is exactly what’s needed to open the floodgates and bring your manifestations into your life.

I hope you find these tips helpful.  I’ll look for ya as I’m floating happily down the stream of life…. what color is your tube?

How can I stop the world from feeling like such a hard, lonely and unforgiving place to be, which basically is what causes my low moods?

This is an excellent question and one many of us ask often.  It’s hard to see the world as nurturing and supportive when our outer experience seems to deny that.

The truth is that the world is just the world. It is simply the environment we live in and is neutral.  It’s our spin on it that makes it appear cruel and unforgiving or nurturing and supportive.

For instance, I’ve been in grocery lines where some people were griping and complaining about how slow it was going, how rude everyone was and basically what a terrible experience they were having.  And in that same line was someone else smiling, talking with the people around them, reading magazines and having a grand time.  I actually heard one woman comment that she hoped the line slowed down a bit so she could finish reading an article :)

What a great example of contrast!  So if you are experiencing the world as cruel and forgiving, let me ask this:

What would you like instead of that?

If you want nurturing and supportive, make a decision to have that experience.  Then start looking for evidence to support that.  When something seems cruel and unforgiving, turn it over in your mind and see if from another point of view it actually could be nurturing and supportive.

You may make slow progress at first, especially if you’ve been living in a rotten world for a while, but it will be noticeable.  And over time the world will change until everything is happy and sunny and you wonder why you ever thought it was such a terrible place to live!

This can be especially cool when you’re not quite clear on what you want. Because sometimes the way to get to what you do want is by eliminating what you don’t want one thing at a time until there’s only one option left.

This reminds me of the last time I went to the ice cream parlor. I swear they invented all those flavors just to torture me! So there I was, standing there staring at over 30 options and I had no clue what I wanted. But I sure knew a few I didn’t want. So I eliminated them. And then I eliminated a few more… and a few more… until finally I was down to just three. And it was a lot easier to choose between those three than 30, that’s for sure!

So the next time you’re stymied when it comes to what you want start with what you don’t want. And by process of elimination see if you can come to a logical “this is what I want” conclusion.

Happy Manifesting!

Yikes!  Now that won’t do will it?  How do we get that little voice on board with the rest of us so that we can get the things we want and deserve?

Well, in my own case I know that voice is there.  So what I do is have a little talk with it from time to time to make sure it’s on the same page with the rest of me.

There is an effective (and not so effective) way of doing this.  It’s not a good idea for example to start off telling your inner-self that you’re deserving.  Heck if it thought you were deserving you wouldn’t need to have the conversation, right?  So it’s probably not going to believe you.

Instead, I give my inner-self new possibilities that are believable, leading it step by step into a more deserving state.  Need some examples of what to say?  Here are some of the phrases I use:

• You don’t deserve it now but you will soon (this feels less threatening and actually gets your inner-self excited about what’s coming)
• You have permission (our inner-selves are like children in many ways and they need permission to change course)
• You can try it for a little while and then decide if you want it to be a permanent part of your life (a temporary decision is a lot less threatening than a permanent one and once your inner-self is on board it will be so happy with the outcome it won’t want to go back)
• You can always change your mind (giving a choice so its not so threatening)
• Lets try this little experiment or play this little game (your inner-self is child like and loves to playing games)
• It is safe to allow this in (your inner-self will shut down if it feels threatened so if you help it feel safe it will get on board with you)

There are more but these should get you started.  Also, I’ve written a FREE report called Barriers & Roadblocks to Manifesting Success which has more information about the things that keep us from becoming successful manifesters.  It’s available on the Free Stuff page of the website.

When these things happen it’s easy to want to just throw in the towel and give up hope.

But the truth is that even in the darkest of times there is always hope to be found – if you know where to look for it.

So where do you find this hope when you’re down in the depths of despair?

The first thing to do is remind yourself that no matter what is going on around you, you still have the power to choose what you want.  Notice I didn’t say you have the power to choose your circumstances.  Instead I said choose what you want.  In manifesting we choose what we want, put the request out, then let the Universe take care of the details.  It all begins with a choice though and you alone have absolute power over the choice you decide to make.

Along with choosing what you want, you must have a strong sense of conviction about your choice and refuse to settle for anything less.  This is what I sometimes call the no nonsense approach to manifesting because it doesn’t leave the Universe open to options.  Yes the Universe gets to decide how your thing is delivered but what you want is non-negotiable.  This may seem a bit harsh but when things are really desperate and you’re on the verge of giving up you don’t have time to play around.  So put your foot down and insist that you want what you want and aren’t going to settle for anything less.

Third, look for clues – even the smallest hints – that things are changing.  If it’s been raining non-stop for weeks then the smallest break in the clouds is cause for celebration.  In fact look for clues in everything you encounter.  Life isn’t about what is but how we perceive what is.  So decide to perceive what you see as leading you toward what you want.

If you find yourself wavering, it’s ok.  We all waver from time to time.  Simply allow the doubt to be there and remind yourself that it will pass and soon enough you’ll be back on track to getting what you want.

You can do this – you have only to decide :^)

So what’s going on with them?  Are they out to get you?  Do they have a personal vendetta against your success?

Or could it be that they really are supportive and you just can’t see it?

Everyone sees the world through their own lens. So when your lens differs from theirs, especially if it’s on the opposite end of the spectrum, it makes sense that the advice they give you will be very different from what you want to hear.

Once you realize this you’re in a much better position to handle their support – or lack of support – differently.  Instead of taking it as a personal attack, you can look at it more objectively.  Understand that they are speaking from their experience and what they believe to be true.

And also understand that even if they seem generally unsupportive, there could just be a few nuggets of truth underneath that cloud of negativity.  So take all points under consideration and thank them for their input.  Then take the best of what they offer and integrate it as sound advice, letting the rest go.

Finally, don’t waste your time and energy trying to convince anyone that your way is better.  Allow them to be who they are (just as you are who you are), take the support they offer and find better support elsewhere.  Do this and you will find your relationships with those unsupportive people start to improve – and as a bonus once the pressure is off they may actually become more supportive than they were previously.

This seems silly to some people, or like it’s trying to trick yourself.  But it’s not.  In fact ignoring reality is something that we do all the time weather we realize it or not.

For instance, let’s say you’re at a restaurant.  The waiter asks what you want and you order the steak.  You have just ignored reality.  Because in reality there is no steak in front of you.  In fact there’s nothing at all except maybe some silverware and the drink the waiter just brought you.  But if you focused on that you’d never get the steak.  Instead you’d sit there disappointed because you had no dinner to eat.  So you do the obvious thing….you order.

Manifesting works the same way.  You decide what you want and you ask.  Then you anticipate the arrival of your “steak,” not worrying about the fact that it’s not there yet.

So why is it so easy to do this at a restaurant and so hard to do this with other things?

Because you know how a restaurant works.  You are confident that the waiter will take your order to the kitchen, the cook will prepare it and then it will come straight to your table.  You accept that this is the way it is because you’ve probably been to restaurants before and you know the routine.

But with manifesting most people aren’t so confident.  They aren’t really sure that the Universal waiter even heard their order.  And since the Universe doesn’t offer a “20 minute meal guarantee” they have no idea when their steak might arrive.  So instead of just enjoying their drink and having a nice conversation they focus instead on the empty space in front of them, all the time getting more and more worried that their steak will never come.

That’s a fair question and I want to clear it up right now.

Simply put, I use the term Universe because it feels comfortable to me and because it seems so big, expansive and all encompassing that it just fits with who I am. Additionally, I work with people from all different religious and cultural backgrounds and the term Universe is a little more global than using a name that might imply a certain set of beliefs.

Having said that, I totally understand that other people prefer a different term that fits in better with their cultural or religious background and beliefs.  In fact, I encourage you to use that termsand often in coaching sessions we’ll talk about praying or meditating or otherwise communicating with God or Allah or whoever you deem appropriate.

The thing to remember is that it’s not the name we use but the relationship with our creator that counts.

When you foster a close and open relationship with your creator you open yourself up to the flow of all that is which makes your life infinitely easier and also increases your manifesting successes.  So please feel free to use the words that feel most comfortable to you.  I guarantee that you will be heard :)

The person who says it cannot be done should
not interrupt the person doing it.

Wow isn’t that true!

And yet so many people don’t even try because they simply don’t believe certain things are possible.

The truth is that many things that were once considered impossible are now part of our every day lives.  Think of how many people thought it was impossible to sail around the world or fly.  There was a time when no one had phones without cords (much less cell phones) and the idea of having a computer in your home was laughable.  And diseases that killed people just a hundred years ago have been all but eradicated.

So I ask again: How do you know it’s not possible?

How do you know that you can’t get a better job or start a business?

How do you know that you can’t lose weight or run in that marathon?

How do you know that you can’t find the love of your life and go sailing off into the sunset?

How do you know that you can’t ace that test or get on the honor role this year?

The correct answer is: You Don’t!

The fact is it could happen.  Thomas Edison didn’t know for sure that the light bulb would work.  Roger Bannister didn’t know he could run a mile in less than 4 minutes.  The people at NASA didn’t know for sure they could put a man on the moon.  But all these things happened.

So I invite you to take another look at those things you think are just impossible.  Maybe – just maybe – they’re possible after all :)